Exhaustion and Perspective

Meltdowns come so much easier when you're exhausted.  Just ask any two year old.  I've spent the last five or six nights up every couple of hours soothing an infant in real pain.  Olive is trying to cut teeth through gums that are so swollen, two purple blood blisters have developed.  Needless to say, I'm exhausted.  I told myself that I'm still going to get stuff done, just like any other week, but have found it difficult.  Olive wants to be right on top of me, making things like dishes or cooking pretty hard.  I decided she and I would get out yesterday, in the middle of a very heavy rain storm (very heavy for California, that is).  We went to music class.  There were less people in class than usual because they weren't up for dealing with the downpour (I assume).  We were both in great spirits by the end of class.  We left class and headed out into the pouring rain.  Olive thought it was great fun to help me hold the umbrella.  We crossed the street, walked a little ways and I thought to myself, "I rock, we didn't let no stinkin' rain hold us back".  We got into the backseat of the car so I could get Olive buckled into her car seat.  I closed the umbrella then closed the door quickly because I was getting soaked.  Only, the door bounced back open and I heard a crunch.  I pulled the bottom of my jacket into the car, closed the door and squeezed my eyes closed saying to Olive, "I hope that wasn't mommy's phone".  I reached into my pocket and my newish iPhone was shattered, really shattered.  My stomach turned.  A lump formed in my throat.  I called Danny to tell him what I just did.  Not sure why I called him, maybe just to confess or for reassurance, I don't know.  I took a deep breath and kissed Olive's forehead, got out of the backseat and into the driver seat.  I took another deep breath and told myself, "everyone is alright".  I started the car and headed home.  I told myself a few more times that it's OK and that everyone is safe but I was really just trying to convince myself not to cry over a broken phone.  It worked.  I was upset that we'd have to spend money on something so stupid.  But in the end, everyone was fine, we are all healthy, all of our limbs are intact.  The lump in my throat disappeared.  I then felt proud of myself.  I didn't cry over the phone, even though I was so exhausted, I held it together.  I put things in perspective - I did.

Olive's purple gums.  This was a week ago so they look much more swollen now.

I'm hoping those little teeth pop out soon so we can go back to restful nights and happy days.